Body image and our feelings of inadequacy.

Today I want to talk about inadequacies. More specifically our feelings of inadequacy and where they come from. For me, my feelings of being inadequate  arose from my negative body image and the way that most people in my life regarded me as somewhat a failure because of my size. Whether it is conscious or not people will judge you on your size and shape, this may and I believe, in most cases, have a negative effect on your life. It definitely did for me. This is something I am really working on to change. To not internalise other people’s negative views of me, based on size.

As I have shared in my blog before, I was told that I wasn’t a good role model for children at school because of my size and would never get employed by one. Whilst I think there is something to be said for being a healthy role model to children, I believe that my weight, at that time, had no bearing on whether or not I was capable of the job. (I got the job in the end)

It is difficult to feel adequate in a world that automatically paints you as not so if you do not conform to society’s ideal in the way that you look. It can have excruciating and long lasting effects in various aspects of our lives. Our self-worth, relationships, parenting or fear of becoming a parent. I for one am afraid of becoming a parent, not for the sole reason of, but including, projecting on to them the ideals that have been projected onto me around image and how the world expects you to look. I feel it is something that has so profoundly affected me, that I cannot allow myself to become a mother until I have overcome the issues of self-hate and inadequacy. In essence I wouldn’t want to fuck up my own children!

I am slowly, and with the help of some very inspirational people on social media, self-reflection and taking the time to show some self-kindness everyday, beginning to reach the point where self- love and feeling adequate are a reality.  Of course I still have days, like today where I feel people may judge me for my size or putting on weight but it is at these times that I focus on and congratulate myself for other things. I am a good friend, a confident public speaker, I made it a whole year teaching. These are what make me worthy, these are the real achievements, not the numbers on scales or the sizes on jeans. (I don’t know why I chose to write jeans, I literally never wear them)

I consider it so important now for society to stop projecting worth on others based on how they look. Times are changing and we are seeing more diversity in advertising, on T.V and in the modelling world, however there is still a hell of a long way to go. Body positive warriors and indeed just ordinary people who may be plus size, still get backlash and hate wrapped up in the guise that being happy to wear what you want and show your body, regardless of size is glamourising being unhealthy rather than just being who you are, wearing what you want and expressing yourself.

I long for the day when I truly accept myself but I long even more for a world that accepts each other not in spite of but because of our differences.

4 Comments on “Body image and our feelings of inadequacy.

  1. I long for that day, too. And I’m sorry people have been so shitty to you just because of your size – the world can be such a disheartening place and people can be so thoughtless and cruel. I think you’re wonderful, no matter what your shape or size. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  2. That just sucks. I always say this. “Perfect is what you make it, not what someone else feels perfect should be for others around you.” Wear what you want, be what you want, and do what you feel is right.

    Liked by 1 person

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